The Boss Lady Serves Coffee

In my mind, this post applies to D/s. If it doesn't in your mind, I apologize in advance for taking a few minutes out of your day that you might have spent doing something else.

So, I have this "important" job in the vanilla world. (I put "important" in quotes because the only important jobs are the ones that save lives or teach special ed kids, jobs like that. All I do is trade in Widgets. ) My job, though, allows me to touch hundreds of people who either work for me or work for companies I award business to....and I take that responsibility seriously.

Now, I've got a bit of a reputation in my industry, and it's not for being a pushover. (What, you were expecting something less from moi? :) ) I once got an accidental forward of an email where a vendor was giving somebody else heads up on how to deal with me -- I was insanely flattered to read words like "she's tough but fair, make sure you are prepared, you don't want to see her when she's not happy, do your job and everything will be fine, but don't screw up." I teased the poor guy who wrote the original text and he showed up with flowers the next day, thinking I was truly pissed. Heavens, if I didn't have a sense of humour about myself, I wouldn't get through half a day.

All right, let's allow that, my reputation having proceeded me, folks might be a little bit nervous when they have a meeting scheduled.

There are all kinds of power tricks that you can pull to assert your authority over somebody.

* The first is, by all means, keep them waiting -- after you have cancelled and rescheduled on them multiple times, last minute.

* Have the lowest ranking person in your organization finally escort them to an empty room, where they can wait awhile longer. (Hey! That sounds like doctor's appointments I've had!)

* When you finally deign to drop in, be hurried and flustered (in a very Important Air kind of way) and tell them you only have 10 minutes for a meeting they travelled across the country for.

* Make no personal connections - treat the meet-ee like so much cattle, be all about what can you do for me and have no consideration for their needs.

I could go on, you get the idea.

Now, here's what I do, Fearsome Bitch Queen of Widgetland

I am always on time. I never cancel and reschedule anyone unless I've got the bubonic plague (which isn't going around this century, thankfully). I always retrieve my guests from the lobby myself, no matter what "important" matter I'm dealing with at the moment. Once my guest is settled, I personally ask what he or she would like to drink, and get it myself. (The boss lady serves coffee.) Only after I've personally made sure that the guest is settled and not nervous, and we've enjoyed a little chit chat, only then do I call my staff in.

True confession: I wasn't always like this. When I was younger and less sure of my "power", I was much more strident and apt to play an occasional power game.

A decade ago, I realized that embracing my authority allowed me the luxury of pouring somebody a cup of coffee without ever being in danger of being confused with the Girl Who Gets Coffee. The power I accumulate from treating people with respect, speaking softly but firmly, making my expectations clear and meetable, allowing a road to redemption when mistakes are made...not only is it greater power than I could get from more nefarious means, it also makes looking in the mirror much easier.

Does this relate to D/s? You tell me.