Multi-tasking & Creativity

Yeah, I don't know what this blog is about either. Proper sex bloggers stick around a general theme, perhaps maybe, um, sex, and I'm just all over the place. Still, you keep coming back. Thanks for that.

. . . . .

Reading my occasional work related posts here, you'd get the impression that I'm a "suit". That my job, what people pay me to do is to be a "suit", crunch numbers, hire and fire, review people, all those "suit-like" activities. You're getting that impression because it seems to be all I frickin' do lately but....that's not my job. If it was 1) I'd be miserable and 2) mediocre at best.

I'm paid to be creative. Outside of the box. Amazing. Dazzling. I'm paid to be the kind of person who wakes up in the middle of the night with a kick ass idea, approach, product that's not occurred to anyone else previously, execute, and turn same idea into cash.

I used to be very good at this.

The last two years, notsomuch.

I'm coming to the conclusion that multi-tasking is the enemy. It's a hard conclusion for me to come to, because I'm quite good at multi-tasking, thank you very much. I have multiple computer screens at work, splayed across my desk, many windows open. I can crunch numbers in Excel with my left hand, answer email rapid fire with my right, negotiate contracts on the phone, order lunch and wipe employee tears nearly all at the same time.

I get a lot done, every single day, but where is the brilliance?

I've tried unplugging, recharging. I've tried concentrating on being brilliant and I've tried not thinking about being brilliant at all. I've tried a lot of things....but I haven't tried, in a long time, just saying no to the constantly mounting, piling everything that cries out to be multi-tasked...unrelentingly.

If any of the kind readers of E have thoughts on multi-tasking & creativity, I'd love to hear them. I've started saying "no", just started the last month, and I'm turning some creative that's a bit better than the crap that's been coming out in recent years.

Also pissing people off, I am, with a perceived selfishness that I value my time ahead of theirs. I hate that, but I really don't know what else to do.

Do you?

In the mood for an argument

I rarely waste time feeling bad about myself. It's a pointless waste of energy. If I wanted to feel bad about myself, it would be easy to do. There's no area of my life that I don't come up short by some objective measure. But, you know, so do you, and so does everybody else....they just all look more together than I feel most of the time. Feeling bad is self indulgent; make yourself better, I say (to myself, not to you, I'm too busy fixing myself to get in your shit).

Still, it was a crap day yesterday. I made a simple mistake, albeit one with a lot of zeros at the end, awhile back, that had a huge domino effect. I didn't even know the dominos were falling until they hit me right smack on the head yesterday morning.

These were large dominos. They hurt. I suck.

No, I don't. Yes, I do. No, I don't. Yes, I do. No, I don't.

I'm in the mood for an argument.

The Mr's Python:

No frontal on this blog ever

It's just a tree, people.

via Sexoteric

Temporary Service Interruption

Now that's lovely.

A man who can save the planet (in 23 hours and 59 minutes!) hanging out in my basement with his hands behind his head and an "I dare you....but please do" look in his eyes. Really. Pretty much as good as it gets. (The picture gets bigger if you click it.)

* * * *

We're experiencing a temporary service interruption on teh blog. Service may continue to be interrupted for the remainder of the month, although I'm going to do my best to get some posts up here. It's not that I don't have anything to say. :) I had no idea it had been so many days since I posted....what a whirlwind life has been.

Family, family, family.

I find it inappropriate to blog much about family within the context of this oh so sexay blog, but I'm too lazy to start another blog, so I slip in bits here and there. Slipped bits directly ahead.

Education for the kids is like to kill me the last couple of months. They are at such a crucial age -- first year of high school for the oldest, last year of middle school for the younger and really, this is not working out well.

Teachers and I are a disaster in a room together so the husband does the interfacing. I have *such* trouble with conformist bullshit. (The husband does too, but fakes it better, got the whole smooth "wink" thing going on, you know? He's charming. I go for the jugular.) Lots of interfacing the last few months, building in crescendo.

Schools are set up to serve the norm efficiently and my kids, here's a shock, both fall outside of the norm. The oldest is special needs. Generally, he's been served well, but the transition to high school has been rough. He's failing the first two "non special needs" classes he's ever had, which means that *we* are *failing* him. He was not set up to succeed, we're working to fix that before his self esteem implodes for life.

The other is a goof ball, brilliant dare I say eclectic, voracious learner who does not thrive in conformist situations. (Yeah, I know. Mini Me.) I struggle between telling him that he has to at least pretend to conform so he can get what he needs and telling him to ignore small thinkers and just learn.

The struggle is nearly over. I think we are pulling him from school and plugging him into an independent study program at home. It's time for him to thrive.

Work, work, work.

This working for a living thing puts a crimp in blogging time.

Calendar year transition comes with a butt load of work. While a good chunk of my job is big picture strategy, this is the time of year that the devil is in the details. Tons of details. Lots and lots and lots of details. If I do sub par work or miss or slip deadlines there's a chain reaction to a whole bunch of other people's jobs. I slipped a deadline by nearly a full week this week, leaving my group to have to scramble faster to make up for *my* being late. I hate that.

Of course, this came the exact same week that my bosses (shadowy sorts of background people) gave me the feedback that I'm not spending enough time on big picture strategy which displeases them. Forget the details, they say, we need to know that you are planning and executing growth for the years ahead.

This was a face-to-face conversation. My group needs me to focus on delivering my work. The people who write my paycheck need me to focus on the big picture. My kids need me to focus on them. I wanted to just put my head in my hands and say really, what do *all* of you people *want from me*? I'm peddling as fast as I can here. [pout, upper lip tremble] But, since head-in-hands whining doesn't inspire confidence from shadowy sorts of background people, I responded instead with a combination of eye contact, thoughtful concern and pledges to do better.

But really, what do all of you people want from me???

Speaking of all you people . . .

It would be nice to have an actual basement full of actual studly male slaves who could save the world (or me) in 23 hours and 59 minutes, wouldn't it?

As long as the studly male slaves didn't want something from me, otherwise they'd need to just get to the back of the line that has formed to the left. Flex the pecs all you like but still, back of the line.

(Nothing, FWIW, is actually bad. I'm doing fine, just busy. If I can figure out how to get out of a week long business trip next week, gah, I'll be golden.)

See you as much as I can get here and be around!

Got milk.

Pretty sure I'm not the intended market for this erotically styled picture but I gotta say, it works for me.

Yep.

Click to embiggen.

Sometimes, the bigger the better.

New Years Round Up

Everybody's doing it, the New Years Round Up. If I were a Serious Blogger, I 'spose I would direct your attention to my Best Posts of 2007, but nobody ever called me a Serious Blogger (with a straight face, at least).

Instead, I'll give you a short list of the friends I've made this year, friends I am so thankful for. The leap from "fellow blogger" to "friend" has something to do with an emotional connection or bond made, even if we've not shared too much off blog communication or are the holders of each other's Sekrit Identity. I've cared about you and you've cared about me, thank you.

Tom, Kate, Eileen, May, Destiny, chance, Dev, Richard, Dw3t-Hthr (say that one three times fast, hell, just try to *write* it), Nigel, Julia (get well! soon!) , Ms160, Z...... thank you. Thanks for a great 2007 and I'm looking forward to spending 2008 hanging out with you guys, too.

Anybody missing from that list?

Oh, almost forgot, two other people....what are their names again?

Beej & Karl Elvis.

Finer friends a woman doesn't get, the two of you. Thanks for putting up with me, the real and whole me. It's been quite a year. Love you both straight to pieces. Now get out of here.

Here's to 2008!