The beauty of men

Two exceptionally intelligent, funny, sweet and sexy beautiful men have left us in the last few days. Had serious crushes on both of them for the longest time, and I'm saddened by our loss.

When I write about never endingly *beautiful* I find men to be, I usually take the shortcut of posting images of men who have the beefy, hunky thing going. Nothing wrong with a little beefcake (does like!), but the real beauty of *men* is deeper than that.

Rest in peace, my beautiful friends, and thank you for so much.

Sydney Pollack






Harvey Korman

HFDU - Behind The Scenes

How much fun is this? A "behind the scenes" post on The Making of HFDU, just like the bonus features on DVD versions of television series and movies. My readers are so lucky!

[pokes HFDU-bored friends with a sharp stick -- play along here people]

I seem to have one emotional crisis per chapter of HFDU produced. This embarrasses and un-nerves me because even though I'm by nature emotional, I do a pretty good job of corralling my emotions before they froth into crisis.

Writing? Yeah, notsomuch. Bring on teh drama.

Usually my panic attacks, hand-wringing and frantic emails to friends are on the topic of: "I suck. My writing is horrible. I can't fix this. I can't post it. I suck." Because I hang out with people who are both really good writers and kind human beings, my friends send me cookies and pats on my head and say "It's okay. Calm down and push "post"." I believe these friends because they never try to convince me I'm Tolstoy, just that there's a place for people who aren't Tolstoy to write, too.

This chapter's panic attack had its own unique charm. The story itself has been "done" for months, all just a matter of getting it on virtual paper. This was the chapter where I had to write out the whole kinky harsh ceremony. Three or four paragraphs in, I froze. I had been so focused on worrying about the narration (description of physical action is excruciatingly hard for me), I hadn't spent a second thinking what it would feel like for me to write something that kinky harsh and post it publicly.

Wow.

So, I was talked down off the virtual ledge again, got it all written out, posted it and....panic attack came back. Yesterday I was crumbly. Today I'm fine and poking gently around my emotions to see why that chapter was so hard to post. I've hardly introduced new perversions to the internet.

Writing does lay you bare, doesn't it though, no matter what sekrit identity you've laid over yourself for protection. Vulnerability - do not want!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Already at work, background, on a second story for HFDU. I want to explore The City next. The story that is germinating is cute. I assure you that any resemblance to Ugly Betty is completely coincidental.

Groaning at the part where I have to flesh out, to a reasonable degree, the geography and topography of "the land", though. So not my thing. Sure, I've had fun plugging population estimates, probable birth rates based on cultures, percentages of male population who choose to "serve" and the like into Excel and geeking out over stats - but when we start talking climate regions, mountain ranges and just where the hell everything is located, my eyes glaze over.

The best I've come up with is an island nation like Australia or Great Britain. (Yeah, I know Australia isn't technically an island. I paid just enough attention in geography to pick up the seven continent thing, thanks.)

I've been editing the Fictional Foundation, as appropriate, on any changes to what we started with.

* * * * * * * * * * *

On slave fiction: found out that slave fiction is an actual genre'. Never knew that! Here's what's weird though, once I started getting "slave fiction" tag hits on Utopia, I went to see what else was published online.

The only original slave fiction I can find is near 100% M/m, with some women characters thrown in on either side of the fence for color. I must be looking for it wrong. I don't even see "women enslaved to men" original fiction. Some fan fic off of Gor, but not anything more than that.

Mind, I'm talking world building fiction, not the fragmented "Enslaved to a Woman Who Made Fun of my Small Penis" scraps on wanker site collections. Nothing wrong with wanker site collections, just not what I'm talking about.

Anyone? I really think I must be looking for this wrong. I'm interested in any M/f worlds, too. I can't believe the M/m folks have left the rest of us so far behind in the "dust".

Even More HFDU!

Once again, I have made a writing deadline. Our handsome slave to the left is the one this time who has fainted in shock. Either that or he was overcome by the ceremonial activities in

Ariana's Scandal Part Four: The Ceremony

This time I'm really serious about the "standard warnings" re: before you go. Our romance novella has taken a brutal and kinky turn this chapter. (Yeah, I know, what kind of mind comes up with a story like this? I mean, who wants to write *romance novellas*?)

Anyway, please enjoy if it's your thing. Please stay away if it isn't.

And please, somebody get me some water for Brad? It looks as if I'm going to be up the rest of the night reviving him.

My world and welcome to it

I thought this was hysterical. I laughed for 10 minutes.

I'm pretty sure my reaction says something scary about me, but don't tell me what it is. I don't want to know.




more graph

There were whips involved

There were also Twizzlers, and popcorn, and Cherry Coke!

Not as many whips as I'd like, or put to the exact use that would please me most, but, all in all, the new Indiana Jones Movie was a blast.

Played hookie from work half a day, we kept the kids home from school, and the whole family went to a morning showing.

Takeaway points 4 U:

1) Harrison Ford is still h-o-t-t. He's got that Paul Newman-esque quality to him where I think he'll get to keep his hotness until 80.

2) Shia Labeouf turned out a very good performance as Indy-in-training. (Can't think of Labeouf as h-o-t-t yet; watched him on Project Greenlight as a teen just the other day wasn't it?)

3) Karen Allen looked great. It was so much fun to see her back in the series, and to see Ford with an age appropriate female for a change. She was sharp and sassy and every bit up to being a match for Indy's toughness.

I suppose I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that Cate Blanchett plays a classic evil dominatrix type, complete with Russian accent and black gloves. That imagery doesn't do much for *me*, but if that's your thang, you'll love her.

Was it a great movie? It was a great time. Thoroughly enjoyable start to our American Memorial Day Weekend holiday extravaganza.

There are parts to pick in the movie but I don't wanna. I enjoyed myself and I hope you enjoy too!

Losing to Win

My new honey David Cook was great tonight, final of American Idol. (Yes, I watch American Idol. At least it's not Dancing with teh Fucking Stars, shoot me if I ever watch that ;) )

God was Cook hot. And smooth. And deep. A serious talent.

And, he's gonna lose.

Cook picked all of the wrong songs to "win", on purpose, wink wink. He picked songs he wanted to sing, not songs The Great Public would goosh over. On purpose? For sure. Simon even winked at Cook, "I know what you're doing." If Cook wins AI, he's locked into being an American Idol and locked into their recording contract. If he loses, he's a free agent.

So, he sang sweet, and deep, grabbed my heart but ..... he's never going to win with those songs.

Cook needed to sing big and splashy and Vote For Me Huge. Dial, dial, dial you teenyboppers, dial. Nope.

Waxing too philosophical about a "reality" competition -- I find it poetic, losing in front of 30 million people in order to win something you really want.

I am also sleep deprived, overworked, and not in any shape to discuss poetry, so take that all for what it is worth.

This, tho, I am able to judge through my personal haze:

The dude is white hot geek, my favorite kind.

Yum.

I B Watchin' Da 'merican Gladiators

D-r-o-w-n-i-n-g in stoopid work. Sitting here on a Friday evening doing stoopid work. Looking at an entire weekend of stoopid work, not HFDU "writing".

The TV is on. Not paying attention, it's been running for hours, not paying attention. And then, out of the corner of my eye I see...



Oh baybee. I didn't even know American Gladiators was back.

There's somebody who shall be showing up in Hot Female Dominant Utopia shortly, I'll tell you that. He's dressed for the occasion!

Sigh.

Break over. Now back to teh stoopid work....but paying a wee bit of attention to the tee vee. ;)

Small Rumination on Family

I don't like mixing too much family in teh oh so sexay blog here, but as they are exactly everything to me, with teh sexay and even teh work being an aside, sometimes it all spills over here.

The oldest is sixteen today. Sixteen! How did that happen?

The husband I were talking earlier today (even earlier than 6AM, yes, that's how our house runs, 24/7) about how different our kids are from who we were at that age.

I was already "out" at 16. I didn't leave until the week after I turned 18, but I'd well checked out. The husband says he was pretty much out as well, using home to sleep and eat and wheedle his mother into laundry and not much else.

My kids seem to *like* us. Nobody's in a rush to go anywhere. They have friends but don't spend the giant chunks of time with them that I or the husband did at that age. They are as likely to text me something goofy or interesting as they are the kid they sit next to in math class. I text back. We laugh a lot.

The big birthday plans are, picked by the birthday boy, a family dinner at the local diner.

I'm a good mom. I'll push these kids out of the nest with both hands if I have to,when the time is right, but in the meantime....nesting rules.

[fluffs mama bird feathers]

Because...

... an opportunity to post a picture of Meloni with his arms over his head (only my favorite pose) and *this* look on his face should never be wasted. No matter how busy one is. (And one is!)

More HFDU!

I set myself a goal to put up the next chapter of Ariana's story within a week, and damned if I didn't get it up with two days to spare.

[faints]
[calls male slaves over to revive her]
[gets distracted temporarily by male slaves' efforts]
[returns to senses and resumes speaking]

I'm not used to my processes working like this, where the processes produce product. I even like what I posted, and that never happens. Wonder what is making the difference.

Part of anything is being in the zone. I'm so *fed* *up* with working all the time, it's been a great recreation to hang out in HFDU in spare minutes.

More than that, though, could it be that the 11,000th time I was told to just frickin' relax already and write, you aren't Tolstoy, that's okay .... I actually listened?

Go figure.

Speaking of going, I want to throw my standard disclaimers in here. Hot Female Dominant Utopia is s/m fiction and not the cup of tea of everybody who is kind enough to visit this blog. The latest episode would be hard pressed to even get an R rating (crap! I just lost half the audience!), but the next one is going to be intense (whew! look, they came back!).

Our Story Thus Far:
Fictional Foundation
And So It Begins
Ariana's Scandal Part One: The Guidance
Ariana's Scandal Part Two: The Meeting
Ariana's Scandal Part Three: The Preparations

For people following along: Part Four is going to be a bitch to write. Oh it will be fun, wink wink saynomore, but narrating physical action is exactly my least favorite thing to do. I am so non-spatial. My goal is *two weeks* for that one. We'll see what happens.

Enjoy! And if you do enjoy, let me know. It's encouraging. :)

Jail Bait

Not technically jail bait, he *is* 25.

Something about that boy, gets the motor humming in a very predatory fashion. (Is there another?)

David Cook. American Idol.

Oh shut up, you watch it too.

[enters room]

Damn. It sure is dusty in here. I hired a cleaning crew to keep up once a week while I was gone but, look at this mess. It's as if no one has even been here in months!

[waves hi]

Four month disappearing acts are not cool, with not so much as a "by your leave" and all. (I don't know what that means "without so much as a ..." but I love that phrase and I'm happy to have been able to use it.)

For any concerned, fear not. All has been fine. I have been consumed in and consumed *by* work, 24/7, but I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Short version of the story is that some not good things happened and I had to work furiously to try to right the ship. I've got another few months that I need to work as hard as I've been working, ugh, but I just had to come up for some air and say "hi".

The family is fine. Meloni, he's another story. He's been impossibly lonely, except for the ministrations of the all female crew I've hired to tend to him once a week. (Hey, I'm generous.)

Not much of a post, this one, but I do have a treat for some long timers in a few minutes...if any one out there remembers Hot Female Dominant Utopia, that is.

Anyway, I've missed you all. I've missed blogging. I don't know what happens next. (The suspense!)

hugs, E