Stooopid Spammers [scowls]

Like I don't have enough to do without deleting 11ty hundred spam comments from teh blog this morning.

I don't even grasp what the spammers are getting from it as Blogger comments are no follow, yes?

Anyway, I had to turn on comment moderation on older posts. I refuse to turn on the "type this number image" tool because I don't know about you guys .... I can *never* get the number image stuff right on the first, nor usually the second or third try. (Is that just me or am I particularly dull?).

Real post, maybe even multiple real posts this weekend. I am ready to have some fun.

No End In Sight

I thought things would lighten up for me by July 15ish, but no end in sight.

[waves tired hi]

Keep a light on for me, will ya?

Hugs!

Of Milestones and Google Searches

Blog anniversaries and/or visitor milestones are a nice opportunity to do a retrospective on a blogging journey. (Little known secret: Some bloggers are self absorbed, and like to mull on past, present and future at a frenetic rate outside the norm of the regular population. Shhhhh, don't tell anybody.)

(Wait. Can one mull at a frenetic rate? I'm not sure that's possible. One implies slow, "mull", the other connotes fast, "frenetic". Yet, I sort of mean both of them at the same time, fast and slow, that gets the craziness across *and* I like the rhythm in that sentence. I'm leaving it.)

Another little known secret: some bloggers obsess over the tiniest nuances in a word or turn of phrase to a level that might benefit from medication.

Anyway......

I missed being able to post mullings on both my first Blog Anniversary (March 5th) *and* my 50,000 visitor milestone. Real life intervened. This holiday weekend, I've got a spare moment for some serious self absorption so let's put on our dancing shoes and grab the chance to celebrate my combined:

Blog Anniversary & 50,000 Visitor Milestone Retrospective

Wheee, how much fun is this.

I haven't read my first post since the week I wrote it. Let's flip back the calendar and read, shall we?

March 5, 2007
Our Heroine Begins to Blog

This isn't my first blog, although I'm not a terribly proficient blogger. Also not a particularly faithful one. I have so many interests that I'll plunge into one for awhile (blog, blog, blog) and then just burn out on the subject matter.....and there's the end of that blog, and, after awhile, onto the next one.

Of course, I've never attempted to blog on dominance and submission and relationships and my personal journey before either. That's not a subject to burn out on; it's a part of my core.

Why blog on D/s? Well, shrug, I'm in the mood to write. (Once upon a time, I fancied myself a writer of sorts, but please don't let that raise expectations.) And, I'm newly 45, which seems like an important milestone in a lifetime's alternative journey, so perhaps it's time to take a look at the path behind and make some plans for the path ahead.

I blather mostly in the first post because nobody ever reads the first post of any blog. If one gathers readers, it's much further along the way. I mean, I've had first posts read before, when I sent them to friends and co-workers, and gathered the husband and children to read the latest blog...but, this isn't the kind of blog I'll share with anyone I know.

So. It's me, myself, I, and a glass of Shiraz kicking off the first post...........

This is not a bad first post!

I don't know what got into me, starting the blog (which was then called Alternative Journey, whose name I got from a rock band name generator). I knew exactly nobody, not a single person in this end of the blogging world. I'd been to Tom's blog, read blogs off of his roll, but I'd never even commented on anyone's blog, much less made a friend.

Pretty sure, honestly, that the only real reason I started the blog was to get the next post, Spanking Christopher Meloni out of my system. It had been building up, oh yes it had!

I'm embarrassed to say that I did a google search on the terms "spanking Christopher Meloni" a few months back. I don't think I would have been embarrassed if my search turned up any results, but in the whole World Wide Web, I'm apparently the only person who harbors a fervent desire to bend him over, tie him up, and put him on the receiving end of a long afternoon with a leather strap, followed by unmentionable intimacies.

The only person who harbors yada yada fervent desire.

Yes, well, we've proven *that's* not true now haven't we, Quesera? ;) Also, little Miss E here is now a major Google destination for all things Meloni kinky. Visitors arrive hourly. People were interested -- just nobody had written it yet. (The Google image search screen shot above is from a very vanilla search of just "Christopher Meloni". I put the concept of spanking Meloni out into the universe and the universe did respond. Meloni loves every second of it. He told me so himself. Really.)

So, the March 7 Meloni post broke open the floodgates to making like friends, and broke open the floodgates to my being able to express a sexuality only known heretofore between me and my partners. I thought I was stone cold nuts, thinking of writing along a "sex blog" when I'm not open to blogging actual sex with actual sex partners and especially not my husbands who take up 17 years of my sexual history, together.

Turns out, you can write a "sexual desire blog" and people still show up. Even when, in the course of a year, you go more "eclectic" than "sexual desire", posting bread recipes, dog stories and Thanksgiving menus. Who knew.

..........how much fun has this been? A fuckload! More than a log flume ride, more fun than cotton candy & circus peanuts, more fun than finding the Golden Ticket, that much fun.

I'm struggling right now with time. I'm struggling with some "self reveals" that are necessary to write a few posts I'd really like to write. I'm struggling with the demons of fiction writing who keep screwing with HFDU production. (Why. Can't. I. Write. Better.) Another piece of virtual paper on the virtual scrap heap.

But friends, I haz dem. Thanks for that. This is only fun for me because we're talking back and forth. It's fun because of you.

He's a Brick House - Mighty Might

For all my brick laying friends and bricklayer loving friends out there.

(If you followed the last post and the comment section, this makes *perfect* sense. If not, enjoy da pictures.)

Pr0n I Like and Do Not Hate!

Put down the frickin' coconuts, Beej, for at least a minute or two. You won't believe what I have found. I have found video pr0n I like and do not hate. 1111111!

Yes, I know, I was supposed to be working, working, working, nothing but working the last two weeks. And I *have* been working, so there, working very hard. Maybe a tiny little peek at the internets now and again. Tiny. But look how looking has paid off.

-----------------------------------------------

Shocking confession. Occasionally, when having a peek at the internet, I don't just read the New York Times and Slashdot. Occasionally, I go past BoingBoing and TMZ. Once in awhile, just occasionally, I do something that almost no internet user ever does.

I surf for porn.

God knows why. There is never anything interesting and the look 4 porn 4 me is completely useless. (Not entirely true. A porn surf a long while back gave me Claire & Euro over at Men in Pain. The first few Claire & Euro flicks are totally guh, but besides them, porn surfs end up bringing me to the ends of internet where I make do with paper, string & tied up gay guys I pretend are straight and hot for me.)

Damn, though, this time:

Well Spanked Man

Cautions and warnings: if you are a reader of the blog for reasons other than a prurient interest in men being (consensually) hurt, please don't click the link. 'cause, that's what the link leads to, an amateur porn site of a guy being (consensually) hurt.

Why I (gasp) like and do not hate this porn:

First off, the guy, Thebes, is stinkin'*cute*. He's a lot like my RL type, different from my fantasy type you see me posting pictures of on the blog. Middle aged manly hippie with a tattoo who hasn't been spending much time at the gym. I get completely crushy over that type. Too cute!

Second the woman, Twilight, god love her, is an actual woman and not a characterized version of some male fantasy. I am not distracted from the guy getting hurt part of the porn by trying to tamp down how much I hate the woman in the clip. I like this woman. I could run into her at the local health food co-op or something, next to the organic carrot section. She is also, too cute.

Third, the clips I watched (free ones, posted on the blog), were focused on (try this out as a concept), the guy getting hurt. As a woman of a certain s/m inclination, this focus on the man getting hurt would be *the fucking point*, but not something I'm used to seeing.

Um, ever.

Nothing is perfect:

Ordinarily, domestic discipline set ups are a big turn off for me. I don't go in for grown men being lectured over dirty dishes, or spanked for being late or whatnot. B-l-e-c-h.

I think "just because" is a terrific reason in and of itself.

"Go get your belt."
"Why?"
"Because I would like to hit you with it."
"Oh, okay."

Works for me. :)

Now, punishment is hot. What a hot word "punishment", say it with me fellow perverts, say it right out loud, p-u-n-i-s-h-m-e-n-t.

Did you get goose bumpy and warm? I did. Saying it out loud and thinking about you all saying it out loud, too. (Thanks for that!)

Punishment is hot and sexy to me when it is manly and completely impossible to avoid by so called "good behavior".

"Mmmmm, I see that you are hot and sweaty from having worked hard laying bricks all day."
"Yes, yes I am."
"It's a beautiful brick wall you have built with your oh so sexy rough hands"
"Yes, yes, it is. Thank you."
"Of course, I have been lonely and uncared for the entire day, even though I asked you to build me that big brick wall with your manly muscles and you of course could not be in two places at one time."
"No, no I couldn't. I can see I'm in a tight spot. Even in all of my manly power, I am powerless to your will. What are you going to do to me, unfair though it may be?"
"Punish you, of course! In your hot sweaty manliness. Belt, please. I am going to punish you all night."

Anyhoo, my found pr0n treasure trove has teh back stories that ordinarily turn me straight off -- dirty dishes, he's late getting ready!, "scolding", etc. The clips must really be hot if I could block out all of that and enjoy.

Which I did. Quite a bit. I have found porn!

(If you go, drop me a comment and let me know what you think of the site and the porn? I'm very curious. I think that Thebes & Twilight have put a fun, fresh face on teh internet pr0n. What do you think?)

My tasks right now are overwhelming

Sort of like this:





*trying* to be good. If I'm good, you won't see much of me until after July 4th. Deadlines ease up then. If I'm not...... who knows, maybe HFDU!

George Carlin

Another one. God what a sucky year for losing cultural icons (and really good additions to the DNA pool). George Carlin is dead.

I don't have time to tell you everything George Carlin meant to me. A lot. He was *the* comedian who shaped my young world view. (Did my mother grasp what I was taking in watching The Mike Douglas Show at 4PM after school? The show looked innocent enough.

Will. Be. Missed. Influence will never be lost. I'd like to do a better photo tribute when I have time. Such a gorgeous, expressive face.

In lieu of the photo tribute I bring you this.







Shit
Piss
Fuck
Cunt
Cocksucker
Motherfucker
Tits

More fitting anyway.

(Fuck! George Carlin died, motherfucker!! :( )


----------------------------------------

edit p.s.: I was trying to think of an analogy to explain to my kids *who* George Carlin was in the time in which I grew up.

I came up with George Carlin = Stephen Colbert. Relentless tugging at establishment thought to the point of all out assault...yet with a charm that transcended bitterness. Brilliance in nuance one moment, jaw dropping audacity the next.

And always a twinkle directed straight at *you* thru the teevee screen, (if you got the joke).

I need you, you, you!

I am many things, one of them a hopeless romantic.

Only teh internets allows me to express it this way. How satisfying is a flow chart? Very!



Click to embiggen.

Flow chart, check. Now

The Blues Brothers.

(sidenote: any two men ever sexier than The Blues Brothers, *ever*? No, absolutely not, never ever. I will hear no discussion to the contrary, period. )





Bonus Pie Chart! All of the days of the week I need your love.



Mmmmmm, pie.

(I am addicted to GraphJam. Help me. I have fallen and can't get up.)

Mmmmmm, pie

find your inner PIE @ quizmeme.com


sshhhhh, I'm supposed to be working, not fooling around on teh internets. Big deadline Monday morning. Be very quiet!

Lions & Tigers & Bears, Oh My

I could survive a house cat attack. (I think that's 'cause I'm a really good screamer.) Also, the racoon odds appear to be in my favor.

Other than that, I'm toast!




Test your own survival skills here.

HFDU in Pictures

We're at least two weeks away from a Hot Female Dominant Utopia installment, sorry about that. Real life intervenes, and unless I say "fuck it" to anything and everything, writing isn't going to happen. ("Fuck it" is possible, just not teh responsible thing you know.)

Just because I'm not writing it doesn't it mean it's not going on, though. Ariana and Nolan have lots to do, getting her house ready, assembling lots of hot male slaves to add to the contingent.

Most of the hot male slaves are working hard, while looking sexay at the same time, like the guy above, and this guy below, building a new wing on the house that Ariana took over from her late grandmother.



Some guys take too many breaks!



And then, uh-oh.






__________________________________________________________

Reader participation:
If you have any HFDU compatible pictures, send them to me.

[bites nails nervously]

1) no penis pictures. Not kidding around!
2) fantasy guy pictures, not a picture from your web cam, c'mon, this isn't *that* kind of website
3) no dick pictures. This is the same as a penis picture, just making sure here. Nyet!
4) Looking for hot, sweaty and working hard hot sweaty guys. Mmmmmm, hot male slaves. Not looking for kink pictures. I have google, I know how to use it if I want kink pictures.
5) No cock pictures. This is is the same as dick pictures and the same as penis pictures but I *really* want to be *sure* I'm clear here. Do not want.

If I get enough good pictures, I'll do another HFDU in pictures post to get it us through.

Mmmmmm, hot male slaves!

__________________________________________________________

HFDU warning: s/m fiction, may not be your cup of tea, in which case, enjoy the pictures and forget the prose.

Whip Me Up, Tie Me Down

I've had a crappy couple of weeks. Icing on the cake was Tim Russert passing, which really has torn me apart. I can't even post about it. I'm so heartbroken, all I can do is refer you to my Tim Russert label and what I had to say about him last year. Wholly inadequate for such a great man.

Tom to the rescue. His frothy What's Your Sexual Style post was just what I needed.

No surprises here, but after a couple of weeks of unpleasant surprises or turns of events, there's comfort in teh same!

(suggests I *might* even like to try out sado masochism) Test here, from OK Cupid who always has the best tests.



You scored 100 imagination, 83 confidence, 70 dominance, and 50 generosity!



You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, DOMINANT lover who prefers to give. This means that: You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There's no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren't afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you're never boring.

You are pretty confident in bed. This means that you know you can please your lover. Maybe you've read a lot of sex manuals, or have the experience from previous lovers, or just tend to be skilled at whatever you get your hands on, but you're good and you know it. You can really get results and know that you have pure talent, so you won't be hiding away shy, pretending to be all innocent. Your partners love your naughty self assurance, you don't hesitate and this makes you a sensational lover.

You tend to be dominant in bed, so you prefer to be the one giving the orders than taking them. Maybe you like the power, or just like controlling the pace, perhaps your partner likes to be dominanted, or maybe you get a kick out of the whole master/slave relationship, it could be something as small as liking to be on top during sex and tie up your lover to tease them, or it could be as kinky as them having to ask your permission to do anything at all. Either way, you are firm and you enjoy it!

You prefer to give than recieve. This makes you a very unselfish lover, devoted to the needs of your partner rather than your own. You get your pleasure from seeing them get theirs, you are a model sex partner. I'm sure plenty of people would love to have someone like you in bed with them! Remember though that if your partner gets pleasure from returning the favour it's okay to let them, they might love giving as much as you do!

WE SUGGEST YOU: get into some slightly more hardcore fantasy territory. Go for bondage in a not so light and fluffy way and discover just what you really like. Want to play master/slave games? Want to be tied up or tie someone up, in just enough discomfort that they don't quite relax? Want to try a threesome? Maybe you'd even like to try out sado-masochism. It's your call.

Whatever you do, unleash that kinky thing you've always really wanted to try and give it a go, you're a great lover, and you know it, up for anything, generous, imaginative, confident, and happy to go for what you want, so enjoy.

Also in my lifetime

I was seven. I remember. I grew to conciousness in a world that had lost JFK. I was old enough to grasp losing MLK and then,

RFK

40 years ago today.

If you have a desire to understand Bobby's place in history, and the hope that was sucked from the nation (and a little girl's heart) the day he was taken, I urge you to read this piece in from Boston.com.

Robert Kennedy's assassination, two months later, became a final link in a chain of grief connecting him with his brother and King. But now his image is as distinct as those of the other two, and his meaning as a political figure is clearer now than in 1968.

"He kindled a sense in many that they might witness and help to produce profound historical change within their own lifetimes,"

Quite a week. Quite a lifetime.

In. My. Lifetime.

The beauty of men

Two exceptionally intelligent, funny, sweet and sexy beautiful men have left us in the last few days. Had serious crushes on both of them for the longest time, and I'm saddened by our loss.

When I write about never endingly *beautiful* I find men to be, I usually take the shortcut of posting images of men who have the beefy, hunky thing going. Nothing wrong with a little beefcake (does like!), but the real beauty of *men* is deeper than that.

Rest in peace, my beautiful friends, and thank you for so much.

Sydney Pollack






Harvey Korman